Family
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The cultural influence of Indonesia, China, Europe, Melanesia and Polynesia in Timor-Leste means there is considerable diversity in family structure, gender roles and relationships. Nevertheless, for many East Timorese, the family is usually understood in terms of the extended family network, which is often quite large. It is common for close familial relationships to include distant relatives, close neighbours or friends. For example, people often refer to distant relatives or non-relatives with familial terms, such as ‘maun’ or ‘mԲ’ (older brother), ‘a’ or ‘m’ (older sister), ‘tiu’ or ‘t’ (uncle) and ‘پ’ (aunt).
Members of the family often maintain close ties to one another. There is a general expectation that individuals contribute to the material and emotional needs of the family network. For instance, members may seek employment abroad in order to send remittances, which has become an increasingly significant contributor to the country’s economy.1 Family members living overseas may also return as part of their duty to fulfil customary rituals or ceremonies that mark family transitions, such as a birth or death.2
Timor-Leste is currently undergoing a significant demographic transition. In 2003, it was reported that 51.0% of the population was under the age of 15.2 However, this figure has dropped down to approximately 40.0% as of 2021.3 This demographic shift has been attributed to the increased urbanisation, greater access to healthcare and family planning, as well as education during the post-independence period.2
Household Structure
Households tend to be multigenerational, and it is common for families to live near or with members of their extended family. The average number of members in a household is approximately 5.3.4 Marriage is generally seen as the coming together of two families, and thus it is common for people to ask about the well-being of someone’s “families” – highlighting the multifaceted nature of the family network.2 Often, newly married couples move in with one side of the family, in part due to the expectation that children will care for their parents as they become elderly. Generally speaking, those who marry with a dowry usually observe a patrilineal family lineage and pattern of residency.2 Meanwhile, marriages that occur without a dowry are usually matrilineal in their family lineage and customarily follow matrilocality (see Dating and Marriage below).
Data gathered in 2016 indicate that mothers tend to have their first child when they are around 23 years old.3 Though women often have multiple children, the total fertility rate has dropped over time from 7.8 in 2003,4 5.7 in 2009-2010,2 down to 4.3 children born per woman.3 Those from rural areas tend to have more children than those from urban parts of the country.4 Nonetheless, there is a common societal expectation that couples will have large families of up to five to seven children.2 As such, there tends to be a general stigma associated with the inability or unwillingness to have children.
Gender Roles
There are general expectations of gender behaviour and division of labour throughout East Timorese society, though there are some regional differences and urban-rural distinctions. The husband is often considered the head of the family and main income earner. In rural areas, women tend to be associated with the cultivation of the earth and fertility and are often responsible for agricultural activities, such as tending to crops and feeding livestock.2 Women are also responsible for raising children, managing family finances and maintaining the home. In more urban areas, it is common for women to undertake some paid labour in addition to these domestic responsibilities. Overall, nearly half (43%) of married women aged 15-49 were employed between 2017-2018, compared to 91% of married men aged 15-49.4
There tends to be a high level of prevalence and normalisation of gendered violence, particularly against women. This reflects some of the complex attitudes regarding perceptions of women and of behaviour between genders. Over half (59%) of East Timorese women aged 15 to 49 who have been in a relationship have experienced physical and/or sexual violence by a male partner, of whom 81% experienced this violence multiple times.5 On the acceptance of domestic and family violence, one study found that 74% of women and 53% of men agree that a husband is justified in hitting his wife if she were to burn the food while cooking, argue with him, leave the home without telling him, neglect the child, or refuse intercourse with him.4
Despite such, women in East Timor tend to have high levels of participation in decision-making processes within their own lives and families. For instance, most (94%) participate in decisions about major household purchases or visits to her family or relatives, while 93% participate in decisions related to her own health care and 92% who are employed and earn money make decisions on how they spend their earnings.4 Women also have high levels of ownership of assets, with 87% owning a home and 70% owning land alone or with their husband.4 This compares to 92% of men owning a home and 73% owning land alone or jointly.4
Dating and Marriage
Dating tends to be common in urban areas of Timor-Leste. Couples will often meet prospective partners through familiar settings or contacts, such as introduction by friends or family, or at work, school or church. Individuals are generally able to freely choose marriage partners, although the decision may be influenced by other factors such as the preferences of the family. Men tend to marry much later than women, with one in five (approximately 20%) women aged 25-49 getting married by the time they are 18, compared to 3% of men between the ages of 25-49.4
People usually marry outside of their community, meaning that relationships tend to be exogamous. In turn, weddings are generally considered to be a serious event that commemorates the joining of two families. Wedding ceremonies for couples from different cultural backgrounds are often conducted in two or more languages and may include rituals from different cultures.2
Traditional East Timorese marriage ceremonies are conducted by the local authority figure, often known as a -Բ’i (the local priest), who presides over traditional customs. It is also common to have a religious ceremony conducted by a priest from a Christian tradition. Such ceremonies typically take place in a church followed by a reception attended by relatives, friends and community members. A religious church ceremony tends to take place some months or years after the traditional ceremony.6
In some marriages, the two families may also negotiate and agree upon a barlake (dowry), which is ordinarily paid after the traditional marriage ceremony.6 This dowry is paid by the husband’s family to the bride’s family. The contents vary among different regions, but typically includes money, alcohol and livestock (such as cows and buffalos). Meanwhile, the wife’s family usually offers smaller symbolic gifts.6 In some cases, marriages that include a dowry are associated with a patrilineal affiliation and patrilocality.2 However, this can vary depending on local customs and traditions of the community or region.6
Divorce is quite uncommon and there tends to be economic pressures and social stigmas associated with the dissolution of marriage.2 In patrilineal marriages, the wife becomes part of her husband’s family unit. As a consequence, the woman has become part of her husband’s family lineage and remains within that lineage upon the death of her husband.2 This is similarly the case in matrilineal marriages, wherein the husband becomes part of his wife’s family lineage.6 For couples that separate or divorce, this can create complications as people often cannot return back to their birth family and their lineage.
Though most couples are monogamous, is present in some parts of the country, particularly in Bononaro (11% of women aged 15-49) and Special Administrative Region of Oecusse (4% of men aged 15-49).4 Same-sex marriages are not legally recognised in East Timor and social and cultural attitudes on the topic tend to be conservative. Nonetheless, there is a growing LGBTIQA+ rights movement, with annual large and popular pride events in the capital Dili.