Family
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Family remains central to nurturing a person’s potential and individuality, providing emotional and financial support. In particular, families in New Zealand often view it as a responsibility to pass down cultural knowledge and values to future generations.
Household Structure
The is the most common household structure in New Zealand. According to the 2018 Census, 27.3% of families were composed of a couple with children and extended family living separately.1 However, family structures, living arrangements and household dynamics can vary significantly depending on one’s ethnic or socioeconomic background.
The archetypal family, comprising a husband, wife, and biological children, with extended family living separately, is no longer representative of many modern New Zealand families. Single-parent households and families including step-parent and step-sibling relationships have become more commonplace as rates of divorce and remarriage have increased. Furthermore, approximately one in ten (10.7%) households consists of extended family groups. The 2020 Growing Up in New Zealand research report found that living with extended families was most common for Pasifika children (33%), followed by Asian children (27%), and then Māori children (21%).2
Family Life Choices
New Zealanders have become increasingly individualistic in their approach to family. Many prioritise establishing a career and travelling before marrying or having children, particularly among New Zealanders of European descent. Families are also getting smaller as parents choose to have fewer children (although birth rates are significantly higher among Māori and Pacific populations than Anglo-European women).3
Overall, there has been a growing trend of people waiting until later in life before starting a family. New Zealanders are having children, getting married and retiring at older ages than previous generations. The median age of mothers at the time of birth has increased from a low of 24.8 years in 1972 to a high of 30.4 years in 2005, and has remained largely consistent since then.4 In vitro fertilisation (IVF) has become more common, partly in response to the older age of conception.
Housing and mobility are key factors that may influence family and life choices. In 2018, approximately half of New Zealand’s residents had moved home at least once in the previous five-year period, with the highest frequency of movement among those aged 25-44 years old.5 It has also become more common for children to continue living with their parents past the age of legal independence.
Gender Roles
Gender does not necessarily dictate a person’s role or duty in the family; women enjoy equal rights and the opportunity to choose their form of contribution to the household dynamic. However, more women tend to have interrupted careers in order to be available to raise their children. Less than half of mothers with dependent children work full-time, while roughly 60% are either unemployed or working part-time.
Relationships and Marriage
It is socially acceptable for both men and women to ask each other out on a date. Dates typically occur in contexts that allow the couple to engage in enough conversation to get to know one another, such as over a meal or a drink. It is common for a New Zealander to ‘date’ or get to know multiple people at once over a period of time without having an exclusive relationship with any of those people. If feelings develop for a particular person, they usually stop meeting new dates or seeing others. Instead, they usually pursue that one person until he or she agrees to be in a committed relationship with them or indicates a lack of interest. It is common for couples to meet through their social circles, workplaces or hobbies. Online dating services are popular amongst several age groups.
There is evidence to suggest that same-sex relationships were accepted in pre-colonial Māori culture. However, stigma developed following the European and Christianisation of New Zealand. Same-sex marriage became legal in 2013, and public opinions have grown progressively more accepting of + relationships. In turn, same-sex marriages and children born to same-sex couples are becoming more common.
While unmarried cohabitation and divorce rates have increased, New Zealanders remain committed and dedicated to long-term partnerships. Emphasis is placed on a couple’s intimate love for one another, rather than the social expectations of a marriage contract. The average New Zealand couple will be in a relationship for multiple years and live together before getting married. This varies significantly among individual circumstances and family backgrounds. Though many marriages end in divorce, the institution of marriage is still dominant and highly valued. It is expected in society that any strong couple will want to ‘take that step’. Yet, more couples (both same-sex and opposite-sex) are choosing not to marry and remain in a de facto partnership whilst maintaining the same function and relationship as a married couple.
Māori Families
In traditional Māori culture, the term ‘ɳԲ’ (family) encompasses all extended family through blood ties and in-laws. Family plays an arguably more central role in Māori life than it does for New Zealanders of non-indigenous descent. Māori tradition intricately links individuals and families with the land and one another. They often gather for both informal and formal occasions. Extensive ties provide an environment within which certain responsibilities and obligations are maintained. When living in Australia, Māori tend to adopt other Māori who are not directly related to them, forming a sense of ‘one big family’ and continuing their culture of .
It is widely believed that men's and women’s roles were both equally valued and respected in traditional Māori society. Perhaps the most powerful indication of this lies in the Māori language, as both the personal pronouns (ia) and the possessive personal pronouns (tana/tona) are gender-neutral.6 However, a gender emerged following , with men gaining more influence and respect in the household and society. Today, patriarchal authority in the household remains a prevailing norm. Nonetheless, Māori women hold important and leading roles in community and family structures.
Elders are to be treated with great courtesy and respect in Māori culture. Meanwhile, children are not just the concern of the biological parents but of the entire community. Everyone shares the responsibility of raising, caring for, educating and disciplining children regardless of gender or age. However, this cultural tenet is much harder to maintain in diverse modern cities.
³Բ is the custom in Māori culture by which children may be raised by adults who are not their birth parents. This second set of parents may be related to the child (e.g., grandparents), but not necessarily so. ³Բ commonly occurs if birth parents cannot adequately raise their child for various reasons. In some cases, the birth parents and the second set of parents may take turns raising the child. Traditionally, the custom of ³Բ would strengthen cultural community ties, and also provide people who were unable to give birth the opportunity to have a child.